a "broken composer"

we haven't spoken

in what seems like forever

so now i'm left broken:

a broken composer.

an empty mind,

an empty soul,

no progress on paper

nor in my whole.

fix me, or break me,

i'm tired of being stuck

in this limbo of feeling

nothing at all.

lets write a story...

just like glass

hmm i wish my hair was black.

owch.

tell me where it hurts,

i'll help it to bleed.

tell me when you're sleeping

and i'll startle you awake.

tell me when i've gone too far

and i'll jump right off the edge.

i miss you.

without you i'm so lonely
i'm tearing at my own skin
i'll wait for you forever
if i don't go insane.



without you i'm so lonely
the world seems crumbling in
the sky must be falling
for this tragic state i'm in.

without you i'm so lonely,
i'd run to you if i could.

dazzle me

in the form of my mother's first barbie doll,

this dress is my childhood.

this dress was her love,

and so this dress was mine.

Maybe a tad flashy,

but worth it, nonetheless.

dawn of the dead

old, forgotten

not exactly broken

but no longer desired

left behind

to rot.

stranger things have happened in Wonderland

photograph by aaron caven

oh yes, i will attempt this.

beware:

"the balloon tree"

filled my life with fairytales

where balloons could win over evil

and childhood was endless:

endless days of happiness,

endless amounts of friends,

enless possibilities,

and endless amouts of balloons.

the future was not to be seen,

in a land far, far away,

a story book life

filled with ballgowns and princes

and enough balloons to share.

now i only have one balloon left,

and i already gave it to you.

its so bright.

think, think.

i have an idea!

my light in my dark,

where shadows can't reach.

i love you.

its not what it looks like

its not what it looks like, i swear
utterly harmless, nothing to worry of.
oh, a monster?
well then yes, you'd be correct.

heart in my throat

shut up brain

shut up heart

no one wants to hear what you have to say

stop thinking, stop breathing

you're not allowed to feel this way.

don't jump like that

don't thump like that

close your eyes

pretend its not real

shut your eyes tight

"restraint is key",

but i don't need salvation

only the smile upon my lips.

the mad hatter.

mad as rabbits,
crazy as squirrels
.

stream of consciousness

Lonely. Alone Between people left alone what she wanted no more rush no more time or lack thereof Alone hat on head red natural red fake red Eyes twitch pen writes blue ink blue eyes No more tears No more blue-eyed tears Twitch Falls in her face red hair covers lips red happy satisfied alone Tongue sticks out false rudeness a friendly gesture expresses her Smile alone “Just let me be” alone but not lonely never again lonely no more no more I am here just here now not when you needed me but now still Alone “please god no!” No more lonely please please please not again please no more. Lonely.

wonderland

take me to wonderland,

it'll be worth every second.

photograph by aaron caven

kiss me goodnight

to kiss me goodnight is to kiss me goodmorning,

because you my dear, are my sun.

who is this?

photograph by aaron caven




a monster,
a reflection
of a girl i once knew.
shattered,
crumpled
pieces of who i used to be.

windblown

toss my hair

into the air.

lets get lost

in a forest of thoughts.

"whisper me- all your secrets"

Just your shadows touch

Makes me feel alive

Reset your eyes

Erase your mind

Whisper me

All your secrets

Let's run into the pourin' rain

To feel that we're alive again

-th

the frame of all looking glasses

"there's no lifeguard in the gene pool."

probably the best interpretation of through the looking glass yet so far in all my months and years of dedication to finding the perfect one.

maybe this is it.

well done.

look, its you.

glass box.

trapped within a solid glass box

suffocating slowly.

dearest pandora,

open the lid,

free me

fearlessly.

i'm not so bad, i promise.

just open it.