Friday, April 24, 2009


you've never seen me like this before
don't think you have
cause you haven't.
i left my self behind metal bars
i turned the key
and bolted it shut.
this youthful innocence can't stand a chance
i'm fearless and daring
pushing all the limits.
i'll push me, right off the edge
you don't know what to expect
and neither do i.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

monsters under the bed

under the covers, i find myself dreaming

dreaming of living and dreaming of giving

giving you everything, all that i've got

my heart and my soul, which isn't alot.

under the covers, i find myself dreaming

dreaming of you and dreaming of me

the night sky is burning a hole in my eye

i cover my face hoping to see yours by my side.

under the covers, i find myself dreaming

dreaming of seeing and dreaming of believing

you changed my mind, twisted my words

led me down the path to the point of no return.

wrong wrong, all wrong

i know i'm not supposed to be this way
you're like a childhood dream these days
something familiar, i've seen before
yet new and exciting, you leave me wanting more.

i know i'm not supposed to go this way
but perhaps backwards is better these days
you see where you've been and not where you're going
but being blind ain't so bad as long as i'm not holding back.

i know i'm not supposed to think this way
i dance with the future alot these days
making up stories, entwining our fates
dreaming is fun until the night fades away.

head aches

its you without me that gets to me

a feeling of nausea that wont let me be

a childhood loss somehow seems fatal

no longer on two legs, i can't stand alone

you are a part of me

probably something crucial

cause you never seem to leave my sight

even if i'm alone.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

not normal.

normalicy is unknown here.

reality is unknown here.

but i am known here.

and i know here.

Model: Stephanie Rotz, Better than normal.

time machine

if i could take what i knew now

and push it all back in time

i know i'd be better at this

and i'd tell myself we'd be allright.

Saturday, April 11, 2009


with dreams come nightmares

and everything in between.

kiss of death

a kiss so deadly it stings my lips
thoughts of losing you weighed down at my hips.
i bite my tounge and refuse what to say
all in the fear of driving you away.

lets make this last as long as it can
until i can't breathe, according to plan
my lips are numb, my heart rips through
but i have to keep going, until my face turns blue.

bruises from reality

you tell me to go
and do what i want
this freedom thing
is harder than i thought.

ask me to stay,
just me and you.
i'm begging you now
just me and you.

it all seeps in,
deeper than before
you don't want me with you
not anymore.

please dont leave
please just stay
all you need to do is ask
and i'll never be away.

i never thought i'd question
if there was someone else
but reality hits hard
when you're somewhere else.

girl of my dreams

who is this girl who i've dreamed to be?
the one who's laugh is taunting me?
her skin so pale, her face so warm
a smile so true, she believed in me.
i could never be her,
not quite perfect,
but she keeps coming back,
as if i'm worth it.
who is this girl who i've dreamed to be?
someone staring back at me.
she's loving and kind forever by my side
i know she'll always be there for me.
she lets me take pictures
for hours on end.
her endurance of pain
i'll never comprehend.
who is this girl i've dreamed to be?
someone better than i ever hoped to be.
Model and more: Stephanie Rotz

Sunday, April 5, 2009

still born love

a still born love

with no chance to live

no chance to grow

i'd give everything

if only for a change

and hope our love would last.

dead from the start

i dreaded this

my nightmares come true

but nothing compares to the sense

that somehow i lost you.

a dreamer

You're still in a dream- make believe.

smoked mirrors

My reflection in mirrors, the only company i'll get
living with mistakes, i'll forever regret.
you're no longer here, but i still am
left to face this mirror, i'll never forget.

Biting and scratching for a way to escape,
but we'll never get out.

get out.

get out.


Irving Penn

Any resemblance whatsoever?

Gemma Ward
By Irving Penn
Stephanie Rotz
By Carlie Woodworth

Thursday, April 2, 2009

clouds in a cloudless sky

silver linings are overrated.

lets not be friends,

if anything enemies,

destined to be

less than this.